Weight Loss: How to Get Rid of Excess You

Q: "I'm wondering if you can help me. I'm not fat by any means, but I do need to lose some weight. I've lost weight before but have never been able to keep it off, I just lose it and then gain it back. Do you have any suggestions for how to motivate myself to keep off the weight?"

I guess the first thing I need to say is that I am not a dietician, a nutritional specialist, or a physician. Having given that disclaimer, I can say that I am an expert in helping people get the changes they desire in their life, and getting into the physical shape you want is just one of the changes that are possible.

Now, having said all that, here's a few tips I have found useful with the clients with whom I work:

Number one: never ever again use the phrase "I want to lose weight." The reason for that rather strong suggestion is this: our brain takes the words we use very literally.

This can be a huge block to lasting change.

In the phrase "lose weight" there are at least two problems. First, consider what we have trained ourselves to do when we "lose" something, say for instance our car keys. That's right, we look for them until we find it. Now, in seminars, when I ask the question, "How many of you have lost weight and then found it again?", almost everyone raises their hand.

A much better phrase to use would be "get rid of."

Then we have the word "weight" which the brain also hears as "wait", as in not now. So using the phrase "lose weight" confuses our brain. It's like how comedian Steven Wright confuses his dog named "Stay": "Come here, Stay!", "Come here, Stay!"

A much better, less confusing and more empowering phrase to use would be "I want to get rid of some extra pounds and inches."

I know this may sound like just semantics, but when it comes to lasting change, it's about 50% semantics.

Here's one way I encourage my clients to approach this kind of change: "In how many ways can I get rid of the extra inches I have, keep them off, benefit myself and others, and enjoy the process?"

Keep asking that question, hire the right specialists, and you are well on your way!

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What Depression Really Means

At lunch the other day, a good friend said he thought he was depressed. His aunt had died recently and he had lost an important contact at work. I commented that while he might be depressed, it might also be that he was simply feeling appropriate sadness over some disappointing losses.

What this conversation reminded me of is how our culture can take a psychological term such as depression and apply it to almost any and all situations, thus losing the real meaning.

Let's take a look at three distinct emotional states commonly lumped together as depression. We will look at characteristics of each and what you can do about them.

The blues

"And I guess that's why they call it the blues..." - Elton John

The blues are simply a temporary feeling of sadness. Often, they cannot be linked to any particular event or situation.

Characteristics can include a mild feeling of restlessness; a temporary loss of energy and a sort of mopiness.

The blues make you want to curl up on the couch with a good book, or maybe channel surf. You just want to escape.

The blues usually pass rather quickly, and the trick is to just keep on going. Having the blues usually doesn't indicate a problem.

Sadness

"Sad eyes, turn the other way." - Robert John

Sadness, on the other hand, can usually be linked with events or situations. Sadness is a very normal and natural emotional state. Often times, a feeling of sadness is a normal response to the disappointments of life.

In the example of my friend who was afraid he was depressed, it would be normal for him to feel sad over his recent losses and disappointments.

What seems to happen to many people is that, instead of one or two disappointing events occurring far apart, many things happen all at once. There is a "pile-up" of disappointments and losses, resulting in a feeling of being overwhelmed.

Typically, when you add up all the recent painful events in a person's life, the question changes from "how could I be feeling this way?" to "how could I not be feeling this way?"

While sadness is a normal human emotion, our culture does not make many allowances for it. We have been taught either to find a quick fix or to fight the feeling.

But with sadness, as with many emotions, the more you resist, the more it persists.

My suggestions for dealing with sadness include simply feeling what you feel and allowing it to run its course; taking a few
days to relax, talking with friends and family, and perhaps talking things over with a counselor.

Depression

"Stayed in bed all mornin' just to pass the time."- Carole King

True depression can come in many forms. Clinical depression, post-partum depression and bi-polar disorder are all treatable forms of depression.

Characteristics can include the following:

o sleeping more, or less

o eating more, or less

o loss of energy

o loss of interest in hobbies, etc.

o mood swings

o feelings of helplessness or hopelessness

o thoughts of suicide

Any of the true forms of clinical depression call for a combination of psychotherapy and antidepressant medication.

Check with your physician and a therapist familiar with treating depression.

Whether it's the blues; sadness or clinical depression, we all go through low times in life.

The smartest and strongest folks are the ones who know how and when to ask for help and then make sure they get it.

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